think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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