i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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