Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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