Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
