Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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