if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
