Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
