great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
