I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
