Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
