all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
