having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
