Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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