Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
