Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
