This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
