I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
