I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
