Me. At least after what I've been through.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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