I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
