I'm gonna have a badass scar
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he fucked my hip out of place.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
