ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
