I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
