Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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