Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize