the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
