This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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