Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Randomize