this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
me + whiskey = a bad person
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
