How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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