no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
