woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
