Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
