We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just found puke in my bra..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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