Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
