Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
