Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm always down for nudity.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
