is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
