As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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