tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
