Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
