I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
