I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize