I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize