Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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