Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
