I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
