she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I look better un-naked...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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