hotel room ftw
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
