I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
