I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just had sex on a roof
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I deserve this hangover.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
