I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
