Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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