So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
