Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
