Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
