so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize