I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
