My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
