I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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