Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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