I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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