He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
